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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26387302">My Story (So Far)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adolescent Sexuality, Asexuality, F/F, Gen, Idk what to tag here, Real Life, Sexuality Crisis, This is very indulgent, essentially something I just need to get off my chest, my coming to terms, pansexuality</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:21:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>941</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26387302</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I need to get this off my chest. You can read my story if you want but this is just something I want to write down and keep somewhere I think my parents won't ever look.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Elementary School</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I don't remember memories very well. By the time I wake up in the morning I forget what i had for dinner last night. Or how I can go on a vacation and within a day I sometimes forget we even went out of the house in the first place. I don't really know why but it's either because I want to block out parents yelling or just adhd stuff. The only really distinct memory I have of before middle school are these couple times in elementary school. </p><p>I went to a very Christian school that was against the normal things that Christians are. I had this best friend and we were really close. I'll call her Clara here. We used to play make believe and do stuff like that. She would always take the lead and be the main character and I would always be the secondary character. I liked being the super girly and bright person and she liked being the darker or main character. I distinctly remember two times of our friendship. </p><p>I was in about third or here was this new girl that came to school who I'm going to call Ally. She and Clara were getting close and I got so jealous. I didn't understand at the time why I didn't like her being friends with Clara even though this has happened before with my other friends where someone new would become friends with them. I chalked it up to Clara being my bestest friend and not wanting anyone to take my place. Ally later went to another school and I was so relieved. </p><p>The second really distinct memory is from fifth grade. There was this special movie that we were watching and Clara and I were sitting next to each other like normal and we got a little closer. Clara sometimes liked to act like an animal and we'd play like that. It was really innocent and didn't realize it was kinda weird. I distinctly remember her licking my hand as a dog kiss. One of my classmates saw and thought we were kissing. He spread it around until it got to the teachers. </p><p>Now you have to realize that I was very sheltered and I didn't really know what sex or even that there were sexualities other than being straight. The teachers came to talk to us and our parents about it. We didn't really know what was wrong. In the end it all blew over and no one really brought it up again. Until the boy who saw us talked to me about it again. We became kind of friends in middle school and got to talking. He still swore that what he saw was true and that we were kissing. Remember that I don't really remember what happened and I might have just tricked my brain into thinking what I wanted. He swears that it's true though. </p><p>Clara and I grew apart after that. We were still friends but we never did anything out of school together. We still text occasionally just to catch up but we aren't that close anymore. That's really sad to me because she was my best friend for so long and even though our personalities were really different we got along really well. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! I'm not that great at writing so if you could point out anything I did wrong it would be greatly appreciated! </p><p>Don't forget to leave a kudos or comment if you liked it! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Middle School</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In middle school there was this new girl that I used to do ballet with. I'm going to call her "Ana" here. Ana was a very outspoken supporter of LGBTQ+ and even talked about it at school and wore a little pin on her shirt. I thought it was so weird. I mean it's a Christian school where we had a Bible class every day and a church a few hundred feet away. It was so weird to see someone who I thought was the nicest sweetest girl I've ever know, support this thing that was supposedly so bad. Ana had gay uncles and she said she went to their wedding. We kind of just ignored that part of her. She realized that we weren't comfortable taking about it and dropped it. </p>
<p>Flash forward a few years and I find out that Ana is either bisexual or a lesbian. (I'm going to get to what I think in the next chapter). She started dating this girl at the same school who's name is "Natalie." We were so sure that Natalie was straight because she talked about boys a lot. Anyway, let me get into their personalities because it is kind of important. </p>
<p>Ana was a very nice person. She was nice to the extreme of being a pushover. You could get her to do almost anything. Although, if she got worked up about something she was very passionate. I would describe Natalie as a leader. She would take lead in things by making plans for sleepovers or school projects. Natalie and Ana became quick friends and Ana soon became one of Natalie's closest friends, even taking the spot from another girl we've known since first grade.</p>
<p>Ana and Natalie started to date but they had to keep it on the down low because of the teachers. Now, I heard about all of this from Clara, who was still kind of friends with them. Natalie started to treat Ana really bad. For example: she would call Ana ugly and put her down, she bossed her around and became overall toxic. Ana really liked Natalie so she just put up with it. As I mentioned before, Ana is kind of a pushover especially with friends. Eventually they broke up partially because the rest of their friends urged them to stop and the teachers were catching on.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next chapter will probably be longer than the rest</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me know what you think! If you liked it leave a kudos. </p><p>I'm not that good of a writer so if you catch any mistakes let me know.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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